Text Insults - Textintouch

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'SMS Messages on 'Text Insults' Category

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SMS Message posted by anonymous

1.- JOKER Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u - it's really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp .... I'm playing cards and we've misplaced the JOKER
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SMS Message posted by Admin

2.- 4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN dogs obey wen u shout @ ... 4 REASONS Y DOGS R BETTER DAN WOMEN dogs obey wen u shout @ dem dogs dont shop u can giv away ur dogs children any guy can get a good lookin dog!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

3.- A prime candidate for natural de-selection.... A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

4.- A rose by any other name still has thorns.... A rose by any other name still has thorns.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

5.- All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.... All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

6.- Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have giv... Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

7.- Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effor... Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today
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SMS Message posted by Admin

8.- Are you typing with your forehead, again?... Are you typing with your forehead, again?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

9.- As you go through life you are going to have many opportunit... As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

10.- Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothi... Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
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SMS Message posted by Admin

11.- Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid pe... Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

12.- Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit... Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

13.- Do I look like a damn people person?... Do I look like a damn people person?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

14.- Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out... Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
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SMS Message posted by Admin

15.- Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bod... Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

16.- es, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.... es, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

17.- Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over... Folk clap when they see you...but they clap their hands over their eyes.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

18.- For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.... For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

19.- Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up y... Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to
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SMS Message posted by Admin

20.- Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up y... Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

21.- Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.... Get your mind out of the gutter - it's blocking my view.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

22.- Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.... Gravity doesn't exist. Earth sucks.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

23.- Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?... Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

24.- Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster? Look w... Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster? Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

25.- He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When ... He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

26.- He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.... He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

27.- He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe... He does the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe
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SMS Message posted by Admin

28.- He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then ag... He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
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SMS Message posted by Admin

29.- He fashions himself as an Insult Samurai. Insult Kamikaze is... He fashions himself as an Insult Samurai. Insult Kamikaze is more apt.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

30.- He folds his newspaper on the bus so that the guy sitting ac... He folds his newspaper on the bus so that the guy sitting across from him has to read the news upside down.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

31.- He has no equal. Everyone else is better.... He has no equal. Everyone else is better.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

32.- He who laughs last has no sense of humor.... He who laughs last has no sense of humor.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

33.- He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to ... He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

34.- He'll take off his jacket and put it on the seat next to him... He'll take off his jacket and put it on the seat next to him on the train, just to stop a pregnant lady from sitting down.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

35.- He's running around like a chicken with its head cut off.... He's running around like a chicken with its head cut off.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

36.- He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown.... He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

37.- Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wi... Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

38.- Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?... Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

39.- His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the ... His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

40.- I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works... I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
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SMS Message posted by Admin

41.- I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with... I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

42.- I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered ... I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

43.- I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at yo... I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

44.- I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial cl... I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

45.- I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'... I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'
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SMS Message posted by Admin

46.- I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you..... I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I'd rather look at the moon again..
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SMS Message posted by Admin

47.- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourse... I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

48.- I think the sun shines out of your arse.... I think the sun shines out of your arse.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

49.- I think the sun shines out of your arse. Well, you're living... I think the sun shines out of your arse. Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

50.- I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know yo... I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

51.- I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.... I've seen more life in a down and out's vest.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

52.- If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd... If I was as ugly as you were, I wouldn't say Hi to folk, I'd say BOO!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

53.- If you can laugh at yourself, you've got a really sick sense... If you can laugh at yourself, you've got a really sick sense of humor.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

54.- If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in... If you put your face by a door, no one would ever come in
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SMS Message posted by Admin

55.- If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a pe... If your face had "Welcome" written on it, it would make a perfect doormat
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SMS Message posted by Admin

56.- Is that a comeback? For fuck's sake, I wipe my ass with shar... Is that a comeback? For fuck's sake, I wipe my ass with sharper stuff than this.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

57.- Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, yo... Is your name Maple Syrup? - Well, it damn well should be, you sap!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

58.- Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything... Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

59.- Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here f... Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

60.- Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here f... Let's be honest with each other . . . we've both come here for the same reasons. Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

61.- Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a ... Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

62.- Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have t... Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

63.- Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.... Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

64.- May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick ... May the horses break their harnesses trying to pull my dick out of your mother!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

65.- Mother Nature is a supreme bitch.... Mother Nature is a supreme bitch.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

66.- My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really... My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

67.- Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.... Never deprive someone of hope - it may be all they have.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

68.- Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes i... Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

69.- Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to t... Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

70.- Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.... Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

71.- People are more violently opposed to fur than leather becaus... People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

72.- People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from t... People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them
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SMS Message posted by Admin

73.- Roses r red, violets r blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are u. B... Roses r red, violets r blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are u. But da roses r wilting, da violets r dead, da sugar bowl's empty and so is ur head!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

74.- Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.... Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

75.- Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?... Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

76.- Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.... Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

77.- Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come... Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

78.- Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an... Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

79.- Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be diff... Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

80.- Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming ho... Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener
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SMS Message posted by Admin

81.- Them: I never forget a face You: Neither do I but in your ca... Them: I never forget a face You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception
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SMS Message posted by Admin

82.- Them: You: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not comi... Them: You: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener
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SMS Message posted by Admin

83.- Them: You: I never forget a face Neither do I but in your c... Them: You: I never forget a face Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception
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SMS Message posted by Admin

84.- There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.... There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

85.- There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindnes... There you go again, flushing the sweet milk of human kindness through the U-bend of cynicism.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

86.- This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting... This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting
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SMS Message posted by Admin

87.- This sms can only be read by someone SEXY try again again ma... This sms can only be read by someone SEXY try again again maybe you are just not sexy? one more time hey don't force it ugly!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

88.- We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange a... We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

89.- Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you... Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

90.- Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.... Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

91.- When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see... When he dies, they'll bury him face down, so that he can see where he's going.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

92.- Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?!... Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

93.- Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleig... Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

94.- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a ... Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

95.- Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.... Yes, you're right. Let's go and pull some girls.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

96.- You are proof that God has a sense of humor.... You are proof that God has a sense of humor.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

97.- You couldn't warn to him even if you were both cremated toge... You couldn't warn to him even if you were both cremated together.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

98.- You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing y... You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

99.- You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she ... You got a face only a mother could love...unfortunately she too hates it!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

100.- You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some... You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

101.- You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever sinc... You started at the bottom...and it's been downhill ever since!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

102.- You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-pola... You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

103.- You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder... You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
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SMS Message posted by Admin

104.- You're about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask ... You're about as subtle as a gynecologist wearing a gas mask and a hair net.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

105.- You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...... You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

106.- You're so weak, you couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit p... You're so weak, you couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit pot.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

107.- You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.... You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

108.- Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the do... Your face doesn't look like a doorstep, it looks like the door just kept going
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SMS Message posted by Admin

109.- Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't... Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

110.- Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog somethi... Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

111.- Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog somethi... Your face is such a mess, why don't you get your dog something different to chew on ? Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
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SMS Message posted by Admin

112.- Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer i... Your face is such a mess, you must stop using it to hammer in nails
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SMS Message posted by Admin

113.- Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before sla... Your face is such a mess, you should stop reading before slamming the book shut
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SMS Message posted by Admin

114.- Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop... Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
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SMS Message posted by Admin

115.- Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop Your... Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
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SMS Message posted by Admin

116.- Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks a... Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
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