Sex SMS Jokes - Textintouch

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'SMS Messages on 'Sex SMS Jokes' Category

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SMS Message posted by Admin

1.- 3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock: 1- Ucan... 3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock: 1- Ucan play wiv ur money, 2- Ucan see ur money grow 3- Ur girlcan blow as much money as she wants
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SMS Message posted by Admin

2.- 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains urcar! 2)... 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains urcar! 2)but still work,right? 3)r ucold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

3.- 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur... 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b'hind u 4)ur bestm8s acunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

4.- A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "... A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"
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SMS Message posted by Admin

5.- Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass whe... Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie
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SMS Message posted by Admin

6.- Baby Please - Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont g... Baby Please - Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth areclean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

7.- Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck yo... Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck your tits. No she said lifting her skirt. Eat me like the fucking book says!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

8.- Bastard Rubber - D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9month... Bastard Rubber - D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

9.- Beat Me - Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make ... Beat Me - Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 1

SMS Message posted by Admin

10.- Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suc... Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

11.- Being a student - Being a student is so much fun,wen u have ... Being a student - Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

12.- Blonde Womens legs - what did the blondes womens left leg sa... Blonde Womens legs - what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right leg? don't know they never met!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

13.- Blondes - What is the difference between blondes and traffic... Blondes - What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop
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SMS Message posted by Admin

14.- Bonna - There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like anoth... Bonna - There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

15.- BRAND SEX - Sex is like nokia -connecting people like Nike -... BRAND SEX - Sex is like nokia -connecting people like Nike -just do it Like Pepsi -ask for more Like Samsung -everyone is invated and like me -TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

16.- Butter - Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not b... Butter - Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not butter!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

17.- Cat & Rooster - cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls i... Cat & Rooster - cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet pussy!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

18.- Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Roost... Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet pussy!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

19.- Cat and the Sausage - Acat tries 2 get a sausage out of a ri... Cat and the Sausage - Acat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

20.- Cock Sucker Detecotor This is acock sucker detector Please b... Cock Sucker Detecotor This is acock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning.... The test was positive 90percent sperm breath... cOCK SUCKER !!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

21.- Cocktail - Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy... Cocktail - Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

22.- Condom factory Your birthcertificate is an apology letter fr... Condom factory Your birthcertificate is an apology letter from thecondom factory.
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 1

SMS Message posted by Admin

23.- cOOL GIRL - Im acool girl, in acool town it takes a real mot... cOOL GIRL - Im acool girl, in acool town it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
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SMS Message posted by Admin

24.- D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to ... D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

25.- Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A pink rose wi... Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A pink rose with loveley details. And after sex? Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

26.- Dear Mammy love annie There was a young girl from Wick, who ... Dear Mammy love annie There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

27.- DEMONSTRATION - Sex is when a guyscommunication enters a gir... DEMONSTRATION - Sex is when a guyscommunication enters a girls information to increase the population for a younger generation do you get the nformation...or do you need a demonstration
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SMS Message posted by Admin

28.- Down on her Knees - Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,W... Down on her Knees - Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jellycos shes doin a fuckin good job!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

29.- Durex - Do you wan't fun Do you wan't sex Don't forget durex... Durex - Do you wan't fun Do you wan't sex Don't forget durex
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SMS Message posted by Admin

30.- Equation - Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract urcl... Equation - Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract urclothes, divide your legs and wecan multiply!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

31.- FKING MAFIA - Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... FKING MAFIA - Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... One wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

32.- FAMILY - your father had your mother, your mother had your b... FAMILY - your father had your mother, your mother had your brother, it's just 2 bad your fathers mad and your mothers now your lover
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SMS Message posted by Admin

33.- Farmer Joneshas farmer Joneshas got no sheep, isn't life a d... Farmer Joneshas farmer Joneshas got no sheep, isn't life a drag? coz they're all burning in a field he's got no sheep to shag
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SMS Message posted by Admin

34.- Flying Fuck - Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I ha... Flying Fuck - Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you rotten!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

35.- Foot and Mouth - mary had a little lamb,its name was little ... Foot and Mouth - mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right nowcos its got foot and mouth
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SMS Message posted by Admin

36.- Fuck for money sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for... Fuck for money sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
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SMS Message posted by Admin

37.- Gary Gliter Newsflash The FA have just announced gary glit... Gary Gliter Newsflash The FA have just announced gary gliter the next Englandcoach. The appontmentcollapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's
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SMS Message posted by Admin

38.- Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe si... Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss 3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
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SMS Message posted by Admin

39.- GIVE ME ALL YOUR $$$ - MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOM... GIVE ME ALL YOUR $$$ - MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U
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SMS Message posted by Admin

40.- Good Sex Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just f... Good Sex Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid, everyone likes getting laid!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

41.- GUY PERIOD - If guys had they periods They wouldcompare the ... GUY PERIOD - If guys had they periods They wouldcompare the size of their tampons!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

42.- GUYS - Guys are like roses, Watch out for the pricks.... GUYS - Guys are like roses, Watch out for the pricks.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

43.- Hickory, dickory, dock - Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch wo... Hickory, dickory, dock - Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin mecock,daclock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

44.- Horny - Roses are red, voilets arecorny, when i think of you... Horny - Roses are red, voilets arecorny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

45.- HOT SEX - There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, L... HOT SEX - There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ... NO SEX !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

46.- HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoi... HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job
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SMS Message posted by Admin

47.- HOW MANY ANIMALScAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little pig... HOW MANY ANIMALScAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

48.- How many letters - How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Ni... How many letters - How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

49.- How to satisfy a woman - HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excit... How to satisfy a woman - HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

50.- I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like ... I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like your arse!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

51.- I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who... I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

52.- Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuc... Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you rotten!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

53.- IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ...... IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you runcause he's got a grenade in his mouth
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SMS Message posted by Admin

54.- Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes ... Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

55.- Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy... Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
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SMS Message posted by Admin

56.- Jack and Jill - Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped ou... Jack and Jill - Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
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SMS Message posted by Admin

57.- KENTUCKEY - A woman is like a kentuckey friedchicken, it has... KENTUCKEY - A woman is like a kentuckey friedchicken, it has legs ,breasts and a greasy box to stick your bone in.
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

58.- Kiss Me - Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's... Kiss Me - Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

59.- Leather Heather - there was a young girlcalled heather,whosc... Leather Heather - there was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together
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SMS Message posted by Admin

60.- LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of y... LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

61.- Life as a penis - 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur ent... Life as a penis - 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b’hind u 4)ur bestm8s acunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

62.- Life is like a dick - Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fu... Life is like a dick - Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

63.- Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!... Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

64.- Little Girl - When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat up... Little Girl - When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

65.- Little Miss Drugy - little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking... Little Miss Drugy - little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

66.- little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alon... little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed .
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

67.- Love & War - LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the ... Love & War - LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

68.- LOVE AND SEX - Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the nam... LOVE AND SEX - Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 1

SMS Message posted by Admin

69.- Love poem - Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your le... Love poem - Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

70.- Luv is a sensation - Luv is a sensation dat iscaused by temp... Luv is a sensation - Luv is a sensation dat iscaused by temptation,a boy puts his location in a girls destination,do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

71.- Luv me tender - Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips aroun... Luv me tender - Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

72.- Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch ... Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

73.- Marriage - A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had achoice of ... Marriage - A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had achoice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poorcleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

74.- Mary had a little lamb - Mary had a little lamb,she kept it ... Mary had a little lamb - Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her panties off,his wooly dick got hard!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

75.- Mary Stinks - Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark asc... Mary Stinks - Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark ascharcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

76.- Mary's bike - Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front... Mary's bike - Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels went round the spokes went up hercunt
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SMS Message posted by Admin

77.- Mary's bush - Mary Mary, quitecontrary, trim that pussy its ... Mary's bush - Mary Mary, quitecontrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

78.- Mary's Duck - mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, sh... Mary's Duck - mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would fuck!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

79.- Mary's Lambs - Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack... Mary's Lambs - Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now they're black andcrispy.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

80.- Men like toilets Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of ... Men like toilets Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)deyconsume large amounts of liquid 5)rconstantlt full of shit!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

81.- My Roof? last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful... My Roof? last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??
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SMS Message posted by Admin

82.- NewsFlash - NEWSFLASH Tell ALL your female friends that ic... NewsFlash - NEWSFLASH Tell ALL your female friends that ican get 1000 tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

83.- Nice Arse - I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of... Nice Arse - I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like your arse!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

84.- NO SEX ! - There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, ... NO SEX ! - There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

85.- Nutella - I love when you stick your little fingers in me de... Nutella - I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all . Love always , Nutella.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

86.- Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through ... Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok"
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SMS Message posted by Admin

87.- Old Days - in days of old wen knights were bold +condoms wer... Old Days - in days of old wen knights were bold +condoms wernt invented they tied socks around theircocks + people like u were prevented.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

88.- OLD MAN - There was an old man from gosham, who got out his ... OLD MAN - There was an old man from gosham, who got out his bollocks to wash'em, His wife said oh jack if you don't put'em back, i'll stand on the bastards and squash em!!!(new)
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SMS Message posted by Admin

89.- Operator - This is your mobile operator and we just found ou... Operator - This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you
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SMS Message posted by Admin

90.- Oral sex - Oral sexcan b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 sha... Oral sex - Oral sexcan b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den ucum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

91.- Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater - Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,ha... Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater - Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

92.- PHONE ENGAGE - hey! what happen 2 your hp? tried calling alo... PHONE ENGAGE - hey! what happen 2 your hp? tried calling alot of times. everytime i dial your no, operator kept sayin 'THE SUBSCRIBER U CALLING IS HAVING SEX, PLS TRY LATER'
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SMS Message posted by Admin

93.- Pink Vagina Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A ... Pink Vagina Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A pink rose with loveley details. And after sex? Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

94.- Pregnant - Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groanin... Pregnant - Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he slides slowly in,itcant last 4eva,I no it’s a shame,dat 1 night of passion leads to 9months of pain!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

95.- Pringles - Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you... Pringles - Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, youcan't stop!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

96.- Question Time - Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? - A)waln... Question Time - Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? - A)walnuts - Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on urchest? - A)chestnuts - Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on urchin? A)a mouth full ofcock!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

97.- Rainbow - Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelou... Rainbow - Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

98.- Red Riding Hood Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top... Red Riding Hood Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck your tits. No she said lifting her skirt. Eat me like the fucking book says!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

99.- Rhyme - a mans ocupation is to stick hiscockulation up a wom... Rhyme - a mans ocupation is to stick hiscockulation up a wommens ventulation to increase the population of the younger generation if u want a demonstation plz lie down!
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100.- Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats i... Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

101.- SEX - SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'l... SEX - SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

102.- Sex Guide Bak 2 bak, front 2 front, on d table,lick dcunt, s... Sex Guide Bak 2 bak, front 2 front, on d table,lick dcunt, stick it in, do ur ting, do it hard & make her sing, tense ur body feel dcum, den let it rip into her bum!
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103.- SEX IS ... Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a ma... SEX IS ... Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

104.- SEX IS EVIL - Sex is evil Evil is sin Sin is forgiven So sti... SEX IS EVIL - Sex is evil Evil is sin Sin is forgiven So stick it in.
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105.- sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if y... sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
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106.- Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop you can't stop!... Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop you can't stop!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

107.- Sex is like Maths sex is like maths: Add the bed, subtractcl... Sex is like Maths sex is like maths: Add the bed, subtractclothes, divide the legs... and MULTIPLY!
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108.- Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he sli... Sex is real evil,sex is a sin,moaning and groaning as he slides slowly in,itcant last 4eva,I no it's a shame,dat 1 night of passion leads to 9months of pain!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

109.- SEX ON TEXT - Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ... SEX ON TEXT - Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

110.- Sex+drugs+rock+rave - Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & m... Sex+drugs+rock+rave - Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u die,so fuck em all & lets get high!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

111.- Sex, Drugs + Birthcontrol Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll Speed, w... Sex, Drugs + Birthcontrol Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll Speed, weed and birthcontrol, lifes a bitch, then u die, so fuck the world lets get high..
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SMS Message posted by Admin

112.- Sheep - Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. ... Sheep - Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply shut the fuck up your get us all shot.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

113.- SICK LEAVE - A guycall into work and says: Boss Ican´tcome t... SICK LEAVE - A guycall into work and says: Boss Ican´tcome to work to day, I´m sick. Boss asks: How sick are you? The guy says: I´m fucking my sister how sick is that?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

114.- Statistics - At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 milli... Statistics - At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS
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SMS Message posted by Admin

115.- Suspense - how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ........... Suspense - how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

116.- TALKING DIRTY - When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexu... TALKING DIRTY - When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

117.- Tampons - whats the difference between a mini tampon..a midd... Tampons - whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a large tampon?....they r all stuck upcunts!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

118.- The Alpahbet - a-ur attractive b-ur beautiful c-urcaring d-u... The Alpahbet - a-ur attractive b-ur beautiful c-urcaring d-ur delicous e-ur exciting f-ur funny g-ur gorgeous h-ur heavenly I-IM J-JUST K-KIDDING L-LOSER!
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119.- THE BUSH - When an apple is green it's ready to pluck When a... THE BUSH - When an apple is green it's ready to pluck When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

120.- The Truth - QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur... The Truth - QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend? ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!
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121.- There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?... There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

122.- There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a... There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
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123.- There was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made... There was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together
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124.- This is acock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... ... This is acock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning.... The test was positive 90percent sperm breath... COCK SUCKER !!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

125.- Triplets or Twins - I want triplets, You want twins, Lets ge... Triplets or Twins - I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
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126.- TWINKLE LITTLE STAR - Twinkle, twinkle little rectum bigcock... TWINKLE LITTLE STAR - Twinkle, twinkle little rectum bigcockscum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy fashion.
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127.- U and the Pope - do u know what's the diference between U ge... U and the Pope - do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a miracle!! :)
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128.- VALANTINE - Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beau... VALANTINE - Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, but what the hell happend to you?
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129.- VIRGIN - Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.... VIRGIN - Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
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130.- Virginity is like a balloon - Virginity is like a balloon, o... Virginity is like a balloon - Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
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131.- Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it's gone forever!... Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it's gone forever!
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132.- Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever... Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
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133.- What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET... What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET
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134.- what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ...... what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you runcause he's got a grenade in his mouth
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SMS Message posted by Admin

135.- WHAT I NEED - I need a hug, I need touch, I need tender, I n... WHAT I NEED - I need a hug, I need touch, I need tender, I need a kiss, I need love, I need sex, I need you!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

136.- What sexual position do you have to be in to make the most u... What sexual position do you have to be in to make the most ugliest kid?…. ask your parents
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137.- When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & pu... When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
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138.- WOMENS NEEDS - There are 4 animal species a woman needs in h... WOMENS NEEDS - There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in hercloset, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
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139.- Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums... Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums once a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days & if it doesnt cum every1s in trouble!
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140.- WRONG NUMBER - U've got SEX APPEAL ... U've got INTELLIGENCE... WRONG NUMBER - U've got SEX APPEAL ... U've got INTELLIGENCE ... U've got CLASS ... U got da FACE, U got da BODY ... I got the wrong number ... SORRY
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SMS Message posted by Admin

141.- Yo Mama - Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to s... Yo Mama - Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

142.- YOU ARE WANTED - The Police are looking for a suspect who is... YOU ARE WANTED - The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking... So where are you gonna hide Me?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

143.- Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zip... Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
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144.- £50 note tattood on yourcock 3 advantages of gettin a £50 no... £50 note tattood on yourcock 3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock: 1- Ucan play wiv ur money, 2- Ucan see ur money grow 3- Ur girlcan blow as much money as she wants
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

145.- Girls reaction to penis Girls' reaction to penis sizes: 9' : Oh shit, pain ! 7' : Oh yes, shiok ! 6' : Ohhh, perfect ! 5' : Ohmm, Ok ! 4' : Push more ! 3' : Is it in? 2' : Idiot ! just use your tongue!
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

146.- calling 1900- NEEDSEX hotline. Thank you for calling 1900- NEEDSEX hotline. For hot sex press 1. For breast sex press 2. For combo sex press 3. For oral sex press 4. To end this call press your Balls !!
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

147.- Woman in bed with husband's best friend Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings! 'YES'.. OK, BYE'. She turns to her lover and says, THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU.
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

148.- 3 Roosters 3 Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay. Normal : cock-a-doodle-dooo! Retarded : doodle-cock-a-dooo! Gay : any-cock-will dooo !
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

149.- most difficult GOLF COURSE What's the most difficult GOLF COURSE in this world? Answer : INTER COURSE. No matter how many strokes or what style you play, your balls will never go in !!
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

150.- Women can get a 2 inch wide penis FACT : Women can get a 2 inch wide penis into a 1.5 inch vagina in pitch-dark, but can't get a ******ing 15 feet car into a 40ft parking space in broad daylight !!
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

151.- 3 Guys were introduced to a girl. 3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi,.... I'm Peter, not a saint. I'm Paul not a POPE. I'm John not a Baptist... The girl replied.. Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN.
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

152.- when a girl offers PEPSI. What does it mean when a girl offers PEPSI to a guy : P : Please E : Enter P : Penis S : Slowly I : Inside Ahhhhh... Shiok....
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

153.- Income Tax Income Tax office asked a Prostitute why she puts her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER. She replied : I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR.!!
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

154.- A Girl who opens her hand receives gifts. A Girl who opens her hand receives gifts. Open her heart receives love. But when she opens her legs, she receives happiness.
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SMS Message posted by JokerJoe

155.- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park Yesterday's News:- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys. Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging the park.
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