Sex SMS Jokes - Textintouch

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'SMS Messages on 'Sex SMS Jokes' Category

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SMS Message posted by Admin

1.- 3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock: 1- Ucan... 3 advantages of gettin a £50 note tattood on urcock: 1- Ucan play wiv ur money, 2- Ucan see ur money grow 3- Ur girlcan blow as much money as she wants
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SMS Message posted by Admin

2.- 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains urcar! 2)... 5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY 1)so dis explains urcar! 2)but still work,right? 3)r ucold? 4)shood i get a pump? 5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

3.- 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur... 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b'hind u 4)ur bestm8s acunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

4.- A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "... A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says "can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes & says "iron these!"
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SMS Message posted by Admin

5.- Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass whe... Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie
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SMS Message posted by Admin

6.- Baby Please - Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont g... Baby Please - Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth areclean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

7.- Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck yo... Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so ican suck your tits. No she said lifting her skirt. Eat me like the fucking book says!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

8.- Bastard Rubber - D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9month... Bastard Rubber - D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

9.- Beat Me - Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make ... Beat Me - Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

10.- Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suc... Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make mecum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

11.- Being a student - Being a student is so much fun,wen u have ... Being a student - Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

12.- Blonde Womens legs - what did the blondes womens left leg sa... Blonde Womens legs - what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right leg? don't know they never met!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

13.- Blondes - What is the difference between blondes and traffic... Blondes - What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop
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SMS Message posted by Admin

14.- Bonna - There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like anoth... Bonna - There are 206 bones in your body! Would u like another?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

15.- BRAND SEX - Sex is like nokia -connecting people like Nike -... BRAND SEX - Sex is like nokia -connecting people like Nike -just do it Like Pepsi -ask for more Like Samsung -everyone is invated and like me -TO GOOD TO BE TRUE!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

16.- Butter - Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not b... Butter - Your teeth are so yellow, ican't believe it's not butter!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

17.- Cat & Rooster - cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls i... Cat & Rooster - cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet pussy!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

18.- Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Roost... Cat & Rooster walkin near d pool,Cat falls in the pool,Rooster starts laughin,Moral of d story?..Wen ever theres a happycock theres a wet pussy!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

19.- Cat and the Sausage - Acat tries 2 get a sausage out of a ri... Cat and the Sausage - Acat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

20.- Cock Sucker Detecotor This is acock sucker detector Please b... Cock Sucker Detecotor This is acock sucker detector Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning.... The test was positive 90percent sperm breath... cOCK SUCKER !!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

21.- Cocktail - Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy... Cocktail - Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

22.- Condom factory Your birthcertificate is an apology letter fr... Condom factory Your birthcertificate is an apology letter from thecondom factory.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

23.- cOOL GIRL - Im acool girl, in acool town it takes a real mot... cOOL GIRL - Im acool girl, in acool town it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
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SMS Message posted by Admin

24.- D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to ... D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
Rate: 0 , Emailed: 0

SMS Message posted by Admin

25.- Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A pink rose wi... Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex? A pink rose with loveley details. And after sex? Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

26.- Dear Mammy love annie There was a young girl from Wick, who ... Dear Mammy love annie There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

27.- DEMONSTRATION - Sex is when a guyscommunication enters a gir... DEMONSTRATION - Sex is when a guyscommunication enters a girls information to increase the population for a younger generation do you get the nformation...or do you need a demonstration
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SMS Message posted by Admin

28.- Down on her Knees - Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,W... Down on her Knees - Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jellycos shes doin a fuckin good job!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

29.- Durex - Do you wan't fun Do you wan't sex Don't forget durex... Durex - Do you wan't fun Do you wan't sex Don't forget durex
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SMS Message posted by Admin

30.- Equation - Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract urcl... Equation - Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract urclothes, divide your legs and wecan multiply!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

31.- FKING MAFIA - Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... FKING MAFIA - Licking pussy is like playing with the mafia... One wrong move and you are in DEEP SHIT!!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

32.- FAMILY - your father had your mother, your mother had your b... FAMILY - your father had your mother, your mother had your brother, it's just 2 bad your fathers mad and your mothers now your lover
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SMS Message posted by Admin

33.- Farmer Joneshas farmer Joneshas got no sheep, isn't life a d... Farmer Joneshas farmer Joneshas got no sheep, isn't life a drag? coz they're all burning in a field he's got no sheep to shag
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SMS Message posted by Admin

34.- Flying Fuck - Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I ha... Flying Fuck - Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you rotten!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

35.- Foot and Mouth - mary had a little lamb,its name was little ... Foot and Mouth - mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field right nowcos its got foot and mouth
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SMS Message posted by Admin

36.- Fuck for money sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for... Fuck for money sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
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SMS Message posted by Admin

37.- Gary Gliter Newsflash The FA have just announced gary glit... Gary Gliter Newsflash The FA have just announced gary gliter the next Englandcoach. The appontmentcollapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's
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SMS Message posted by Admin

38.- Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe si... Getting Old U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF 1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss 3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
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SMS Message posted by Admin

39.- GIVE ME ALL YOUR $$$ - MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOM... GIVE ME ALL YOUR $$$ - MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U
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SMS Message posted by Admin

40.- Good Sex Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just f... Good Sex Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid, everyone likes getting laid!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

41.- GUY PERIOD - If guys had they periods They wouldcompare the ... GUY PERIOD - If guys had they periods They wouldcompare the size of their tampons!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

42.- GUYS - Guys are like roses, Watch out for the pricks.... GUYS - Guys are like roses, Watch out for the pricks.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

43.- Hickory, dickory, dock - Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch wo... Hickory, dickory, dock - Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin mecock,daclock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

44.- Horny - Roses are red, voilets arecorny, when i think of you... Horny - Roses are red, voilets arecorny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

45.- HOT SEX - There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, L... HOT SEX - There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ... NO SEX !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

46.- HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoi... HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job
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SMS Message posted by Admin

47.- HOW MANY ANIMALScAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little pig... HOW MANY ANIMALScAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

48.- How many letters - How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Ni... How many letters - How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

49.- How to satisfy a woman - HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excit... How to satisfy a woman - HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job
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SMS Message posted by Admin

50.- I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like ... I like your style, I like yourclass, but most of all i like your arse!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

51.- I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who... I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

52.- Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuc... Ill fuck you standing,I fuck you lying,If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if you were dead,your not forgotten,ill dig you up and fuck you rotten!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

53.- IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ...... IRA what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you runcause he's got a grenade in his mouth
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SMS Message posted by Admin

54.- Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes ... Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes ucum!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

55.- Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy... Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
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SMS Message posted by Admin

56.- Jack and Jill - Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped ou... Jack and Jill - Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
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SMS Message posted by Admin

57.- KENTUCKEY - A woman is like a kentuckey friedchicken, it has... KENTUCKEY - A woman is like a kentuckey friedchicken, it has legs ,breasts and a greasy box to stick your bone in.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

58.- Kiss Me - Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's... Kiss Me - Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

59.- Leather Heather - there was a young girlcalled heather,whosc... Leather Heather - there was a young girlcalled heather,whoscunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together
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SMS Message posted by Admin

60.- LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of y... LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

61.- Life as a penis - 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur ent... Life as a penis - 5 reasons not 2 b a penis 1)ur bald ur entire life 2)both ur naybors r nutz 3)an arsehole lives b’hind u 4)ur bestm8s acunt 5)wen xcited u throw up den faint!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

62.- Life is like a dick - Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fu... Life is like a dick - Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

63.- Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!... Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

64.- Little Girl - When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat up... Little Girl - When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

65.- Little Miss Drugy - little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking... Little Miss Drugy - little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

66.- little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alon... little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed alongcame a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed .
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SMS Message posted by Admin

67.- Love & War - LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the ... Love & War - LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

68.- LOVE AND SEX - Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the nam... LOVE AND SEX - Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

69.- Love poem - Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your le... Love poem - Roses are red, Pickles are green, I love your legs & whats in between!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

70.- Luv is a sensation - Luv is a sensation dat iscaused by temp... Luv is a sensation - Luv is a sensation dat iscaused by temptation,a boy puts his location in a girls destination,do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

71.- Luv me tender - Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips aroun... Luv me tender - Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

72.- Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch ... Luv me tender,luv me sweet,rap ur lips around my meat,watch & smile,watch me grin,watch thecum drip down mychin!
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