Funny SMS - Textintouch

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SMS Msg:		4096
Pictures :		29

Friendship SMS (198)

Friend Quotes (164)

True Love SMS (19)

Love SMS (220)

Wisdom SMS (13)

Love Quotes (96)

Love Language (83)

Miss You SMS (20)

Riddle SMS (93)

Special You SMS (8)

Marriage Quotes (82)

Kiss SMS (64)

Daring SMS (27)

Pick Up Lines (192)

Absurd SMS (19)

Sex SMS (148)

Profundities (61)

Good SMS Quotes (152)

Double Meaning (3)

Non-Rhyming (14)

Chat up Lines (44)

One Liners (162)

SMS Greetings (25)

Text Insults (116)

Misleading SMS (13)

News Flash SMS (5)

Misc SMS (59)

New Year SMS (46)

Mothers Day (24)

Friend Jokes (53)

Funny Jokes (149)

Decent Jokes (11)

Indecent Jokes (69)

Sex SMS Jokes (155)

Erotic Jokes (35)

Love SMS Jokes (27)

Adult SMS Jokes (12)

Cool SMS Jokes (56)

General Jokes (82)

Crude Jokes (20)

Marriage Jokes (6)

Mama Jokes (608)

Nursery Jokes (4)

Silly Quotes (11)

Blonde Jokes (303)

Funny Phrases (62)

Word Play SMS (12)

Wrong Person (8)

Animal Jokes (15)

Q & A Jokes (13)

Police SMS Jokes (3)

'SMS Messages on 'Funny SMS' Category

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SMS Message posted by Admin

1.- A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, the... A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
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SMS Message posted by Admin

2.- 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having ... 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
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SMS Message posted by Admin

3.- A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterf... A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

4.- A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in... A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

5.- Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!... Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

6.- At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 milli... At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on?The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

7.- At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the ... At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

8.- Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you a... Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

9.- Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be thei... Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

10.- BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will ha... BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

11.- Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't ca... Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

12.- Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching............ Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

13.- Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket?... Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
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SMS Message posted by Admin

14.- Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .... Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
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SMS Message posted by Admin

15.- Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !... Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

16.- E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman p... E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

17.- Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.... Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

18.- For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you pr... For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"
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SMS Message posted by Admin

19.- God created the earth, God created the woods, God created yo... God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

20.- God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man a... God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

21.- HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. ... HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

22.- Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...... Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

23.- Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the... Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
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SMS Message posted by Admin

24.- Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it,... Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

25.- Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wi... Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

26.- How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or... How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

27.- I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you ar... I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

28.- I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T... I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
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SMS Message posted by Admin

29.- I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.... I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

30.- I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to h... I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

31.- I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beauti... I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

32.- I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...... I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

33.- i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my don... i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

34.- i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i c... i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
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SMS Message posted by Admin

35.- If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.... If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

36.- If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty... If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

37.- If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not ... If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

38.- Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people sa... Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

39.- In case of fire read this message.............................. In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

40.- It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well sh... It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

41.- It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores... It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

42.- Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. Joh... Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
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SMS Message posted by Admin

43.- Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???... Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???
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SMS Message posted by Admin

44.- Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for... Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

45.- My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? ... My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
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SMS Message posted by Admin

46.- My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where ... My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

47.- Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?... Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

48.- One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mo... One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

49.- Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they... Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

50.- Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed... Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
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SMS Message posted by Admin

51.- roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but wh... roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
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SMS Message posted by Admin

52.- roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this o... roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

53.- Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform w... Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
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SMS Message posted by Admin

54.- Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!... Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

55.- The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the... The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??
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SMS Message posted by Admin

56.- The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood ... The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !
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SMS Message posted by Admin

57.- They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?... They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

58.- This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this m... This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

59.- This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper du... This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."
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SMS Message posted by Admin

60.- This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...aga... This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

61.- Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a ... Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

62.- We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are ... We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."
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SMS Message posted by Admin

63.- We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Sear... We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

64.- What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not wan... What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

65.- When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you a... When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

66.- You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical exp... You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

67.- You are never too blond to learn !!!... You are never too blond to learn !!!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

68.- You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS...... You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
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SMS Message posted by Admin

69.- You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do t... You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

70.- You should know what it takes to look this cheap!... You should know what it takes to look this cheap!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

71.- You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak a... You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you
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SMS Message posted by Admin

72.- You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will y... You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

73.- You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you w... You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number
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SMS Message posted by Admin

&nb