Marriage Quotes - Textintouch

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'SMS Messages on 'Marriage Quotes' Category

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SMS Message posted by Admin

1.- Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with... Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
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2.- A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marv... A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marvin Kitman
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3.- A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf hus... A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Michel de Montaigne
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4.- A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband g... A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
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5.- A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is ex... A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve is extracted - Helen Rowland
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SMS Message posted by Admin

6.- A husband's last words should always be 'OK buy it'.... A husband's last words should always be 'OK buy it'.
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7.- A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to ... A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" "No idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."
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8.- A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is f... A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
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9.- A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. - R... A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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SMS Message posted by Admin

10.- A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to you, my beauti... A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Here's to you, my beautiful bride.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

11.- A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husba... A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
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SMS Message posted by Admin

12.- After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You kn... After a lengthy quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
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13.- After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;... After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi
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14.- All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a mar... All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. - Lord Byron
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15.- An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The o... An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie
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16.- Behind every great man there is a surprised woman. - Maryon ... Behind every great man there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
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17.- By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy.... By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
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18.- Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of ha... Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women. - Marion Smith
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SMS Message posted by Admin

19.- Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may... Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

20.- Dear [bride's name],Isn't it quite funny how History repeats... Dear [bride's name],Isn't it quite funny how History repeats itself?[Bride's Age] years ago your Mother and Father were putting you to bed with a dummy...and now it's happening all over again
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21.- Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. - Mae ... Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. - Mae West
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SMS Message posted by Admin

22.- Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a... Grooms, once you marry, please remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: "Yes dear"
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SMS Message posted by Admin

23.- he husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't... he husband replied: "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
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24.- Here's to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves... Here's to my bride: she knows everything about me, yet loves me just the same.
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25.- Here's to the bride - may she share everything with her husb... Here's to the bride - may she share everything with her husband...and that includes the housework.
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26.- Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licenc... Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence? Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole
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27.- I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to inter... I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield
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28.- I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Har... I like to wake up each morning feeling a new man. - Jean Harlow
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29.- I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. An... I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. - Max Kauffmann
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30.- I never married because I have three pets at home that answe... I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli
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SMS Message posted by Admin

31.- I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, r... I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. - Dorothy Parker
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32.- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - ... I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
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33.- I've got a good friend who married a Doctor. One day he told...
I've got a good friend who married a Doctor. One day he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making". Soon thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M.D."Why?" asked her husband. "You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making;I just wanted to get a Second Opinion", she replied...

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34.- I've known many,Liked not a few,Loved only one,I toast to yo... I've known many,Liked not a few,Loved only one,I toast to you
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35.- I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought ag... I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward
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36.- Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afte... Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. - Benjamin Franklin
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37.- Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm cloc... Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
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38.- Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second... Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus
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39.- Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor'... Marriage - an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
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40.- Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a r... Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. - Unknown
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41.- Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking fo... Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
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42.- Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring ... Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.
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43.- Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live i... Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? - Groucho Marx
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44.- Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chester... Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton
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45.- Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or sh... Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. - Joey Adams
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46.- Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very importan... Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman
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47.- Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!... Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).
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48.- Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be b... Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be between the sheets!
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49.- May our children be blessed with rich parents... May our children be blessed with rich parents
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50.- May the best of your past be the worst of your future... May the best of your past be the worst of your future
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51.- May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime... May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfilment
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52.- May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember wh... May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
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53.- May you grow old on one pillow.... May you grow old on one pillow.
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54.- May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as ... May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam.
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55.- Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usua... Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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56.- My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and... My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
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57.- One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds:... One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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58.- Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get... Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers? A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!
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59.- Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything ... Q: Why do brides wear white? A: To blend in with everything else in the kitchen.
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60.- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take tim... Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. - Henry Youngman
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61.- The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husban... The definition of a perfect Wife? - one who helps the husband with the dishes...
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62.- The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that sh... The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him - Oscar Wilde
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63.- The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what...
The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 things. First the aisle, cos that is what you'll be walking down. Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive. Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service. While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words ...Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him)

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64.- The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake - Unkn... The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake - Unknown.
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65.- The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the... The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - S. T. Coleridge
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66.- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henry You... The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henry Youngman
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67.- The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited abo... The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him - Cher
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68.- There was this lover who said that he would go through hell ... There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married - now he is going through Hell!!!
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69.- There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of h... There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels. Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
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70.- There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than... There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - James Holt McGavran
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71.- There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as... There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. - Clint Eastwood
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72.- They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and... They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood
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73.- To my wife...my bride...my joy... To my wife...my bride...my joy
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