One Liners - Textintouch

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'SMS Messages on 'One Liners' Category

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SMS Message posted by Admin

1.- "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy... "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy
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SMS Message posted by Admin

2.- *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get ... *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1 ... No Strings attached ...but for a limited period ONLY! ...A bloody good deal!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

3.- A closed mouth gathers no feet... A closed mouth gathers no feet
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SMS Message posted by Admin

4.- A feature is a bug with seniority... A feature is a bug with seniority
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SMS Message posted by Admin

5.- A hangover is the wrath of grapes... A hangover is the wrath of grapes
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SMS Message posted by Admin

6.- A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex? His answer... A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

7.- A waist is a terrible thing to mind... A waist is a terrible thing to mind
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SMS Message posted by Admin

8.- Adults are just kids who owe money... Adults are just kids who owe money
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SMS Message posted by Admin

9.- All computers wait at the same speed... All computers wait at the same speed
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SMS Message posted by Admin

10.- All stressed out and no one to choke... All stressed out and no one to choke
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SMS Message posted by Admin

11.- Allow me to introduce my selves... Allow me to introduce my selves
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SMS Message posted by Admin

12.- Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.... Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

13.- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.... Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

14.- Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?... Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

15.- Anything not nailed down is a cat toy... Anything not nailed down is a cat toy
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SMS Message posted by Admin

16.- Bad sex is better then a good day in school.... Bad sex is better then a good day in school.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

17.- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
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SMS Message posted by Admin

18.- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.... Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

19.- BIGAMIST --- A heavy fog in Italy... BIGAMIST --- A heavy fog in Italy
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SMS Message posted by Admin

20.- Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick"... Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick" Boss asks: "How sick are u?" Bloke: "I'm F****ing my Sis, how sick is that???"
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SMS Message posted by Admin

21.- Born free . . . Taxed to death... Born free . . . Taxed to death
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SMS Message posted by Admin

22.- Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.... Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

23.- Born Free........Taxed to Death.... Born Free........Taxed to Death.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

24.- Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE ... Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'
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SMS Message posted by Admin

25.- Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get ... Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get operator sayin 'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having Sex, Please try again later.'
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SMS Message posted by Admin

26.- Celibacy is not hereditary... Celibacy is not hereditary
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SMS Message posted by Admin

27.- Common sense isn't common... Common sense isn't common
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SMS Message posted by Admin

28.- Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.... Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

29.- Constipated people don't give a crap... Constipated people don't give a crap
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SMS Message posted by Admin

30.- Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?... Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

31.- Darling, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have direc... Darling, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

32.- Demons are a Ghouls best Friend... Demons are a Ghouls best Friend
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SMS Message posted by Admin

33.- Do not disturb. Already disturbed... Do not disturb. Already disturbed
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SMS Message posted by Admin

34.- Do pilots take crash-courses?... Do pilots take crash-courses?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

35.- Do witches run spell checkers?... Do witches run spell checkers?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

36.- Does killing time damage eternity?... Does killing time damage eternity?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

37.- Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too... Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

38.- Everyone is entitled to my opinion... Everyone is entitled to my opinion
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SMS Message posted by Admin

39.- Exceptions always outnumber rules... Exceptions always outnumber rules
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SMS Message posted by Admin

40.- Familiarity breeds children... Familiarity breeds children
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SMS Message posted by Admin

41.- First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the s... First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

42.- FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration compl... FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

43.- Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if... Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

44.- Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But hey... Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But hey, no worries - I sure science will come up with somin to help u.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

45.- Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilario... Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

46.- Guilt -- the gift that keeps on giving... Guilt -- the gift that keeps on giving
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SMS Message posted by Admin

47.- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!... Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

48.- Have a nice day. . . somewhere else... Have a nice day. . . somewhere else
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SMS Message posted by Admin

49.- He who laughs last thinks slowest.... He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

50.- HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and go... HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

51.- Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speed... Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speedy-sex, crazy-sex and for people wid ur face - NO SEX!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

52.- Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wai... Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...
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SMS Message posted by Admin

53.- Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw... Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw
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SMS Message posted by Admin

54.- Hickory Dickory Dock, dis bitch woz suckin me ck, da clock... Hickory Dickory Dock, dis bitch woz suckin me ck, da clock struck 2, i dumped me goo, & dropped her at da end of da block.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

55.- How can there be self-help groups?... How can there be self-help groups?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

56.- How come night falls but day breaks?... How come night falls but day breaks?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

57.- How do I set the laser printer to stun?... How do I set the laser printer to stun?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

58.- How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it g... How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes away!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

59.- How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down... How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

60.- How do you get off a non-stop flight?... How do you get off a non-stop flight?
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SMS Message posted by Admin

61.- How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a ... How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

62.- How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, lov... How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

63.- Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.... Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

64.- I don't get even . . . . . I get odder... I don't get even . . . . . I get odder
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SMS Message posted by Admin

65.- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception prob... I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem
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SMS Message posted by Admin

66.- I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier... I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier
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SMS Message posted by Admin

67.- I don't work here. I'm a consultant... I don't work here. I'm a consultant
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SMS Message posted by Admin

68.- I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!... I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

69.- I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results wer... I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

70.- I like feminists; I think they're cute... I like feminists; I think they're cute
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SMS Message posted by Admin

71.- I like your style, you got sheer class, but babe, my god, I ... I like your style, you got sheer class, but babe, my god, I WANT YOUR ASS!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

72.- I may not be perfect, but I'm all I got... I may not be perfect, but I'm all I got
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SMS Message posted by Admin

73.- I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.... I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

74.- I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love, I need warm... I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love, I need warmth, I need hugs, I need sex, I need YOU!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

75.- I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had a... I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went Orange, til I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
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SMS Message posted by Admin

76.- I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.... I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
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SMS Message posted by Admin

77.- I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is s...